As I reflect on events, my inner voice often speaks as though I were reading/writing a blog entry about them. I roll the words around in my head, constructing a mental entry as I go.

Rather than reviewing the events in a linear, non-stop fashion, my reflections have fits and starts.

I ponder an aspect, write a phrase in my head, re-word it, view it from different perspectives, and then when I'm satisfied with that fragment, I move along in time.

Strange...

I'm glad I reversed my decision.

Jeanie and I really enjoyed it.

It was a really good movie. It had an intriguing storyline - at turns sweet, troubling, suspenseful, heart rending. The acting was great. And the use of an all Beatles soundtrack was inspired.

Usually, I don't like covers of songs I am fond of, but the performers who provided the covers for the soundtrack did a fantastic job. I think some of the covers might actually be better than the originals. I got the soundtrack first thing this morning.

Even the DVD extras were great - especially the "Making Of" mini-documentary.

Highly recommended.

One of the sad consequences of Mom's dementia is that the part of her brain that keeps thoughts and words from getting out her mouth unchecked no longer appears to work.

Whatever the thoughts or words - no matter how inappropriate - now seem to find voice with her.

Unfortunately, Mom's thoughts and words often lean toward the the inappropriate at best, and the mean at worst.

Tonight was a particularly bad night.

I won't go into the details, but let's just leave it at it was not a pleasant experience.

It was a nice 90 minute diversion - well worth the price - it was free - thanks to Netflix's free two week trial.

The special effects were amazing - even on a TV sized screen. It must have been spectacular on the big screen.

That made the fifteenth time I've seen it.

And I found that I still enjoy the heck out of it.

I love the whole concept - from the lyrical narration of Stubby Kaye and Nat King Cole, to the campiness of the movie in general, to Lee Marvin's great performance, to Jane Fonda at her most beautiful.

One of the few movies that I would actually buy - since I think I could watch it at least another fifteen times.

And I've been behind for so long, that I don't even remember what it's like to be caught up.

And, to make things even more challenging, not only is the volume of work crushing, so is the work itself.

It is so hard to stay motivated when you know that your department is on the verge of vaporization. I continue to lose people as they transfer to other positions, yet our mission remains the same. This just puts additional pressure on the remaining team members, and me. I am already seeing where it is negatively impacting our customer service, and it will only get worse.

Next week, I get to conduct two exit interviews for team members who were laid off - the week before Christmas.

My work days consist of slogging through seemingly endless pages of e-mail, attending mind numbing meetings, and responding to data requests for information that I have already provided (usually already in more than one database or spreadsheet).

Somewhere along the line, I fear I have lost all joy. I used to truly enjoy my job, and even when it was tough, there were other aspects of my life that gave me enjoyment.

Now, nothing is fun.

When I'm not working, there is nothing I can think of that I "want" to do. TV / movies are just an escape - not a positive fulfilling experience.

There is just an emptiness that I can't seem to fill.

Life is all duty and obligation - no fun.

That's part of the reason I haven't been blogging much lately. My entries would be filled with lots of whining and despair - not what I'd consider riveting reading - or writing.

My favorite was a koala bear.

I don't remember ever having a "blanky" for a "paci," but I always liked having a stuffed animal to hug when I went to bed.

Well, I've found something even better - my dog Cali. She's just about the same size as a stuffed animal, but she's warm.

Diego isn't much of a cuddler, but Cali is more than happy to snuggle all I want.

Diego may be more entertaining playing fetch or doing tricks, but when it comes to napping, Cali is the queen.

The thing that always stuck in my mind was Sidney Poitier singing "Amen."

Well, last week I joined Netflix, and the first three movies I ordered were Lilies Of The Field, Cat Ballou, and Men In Black II.

So far, I've only gotten to watch Lilies Of The Field, which was pleasant, but not as great as I had remembered it to have been.

I really wanted to rent Porgy And Bess, but NetFlix doesn't have it available.

My free two week trial ends tomorrow, so I have to decide if I am going to cancel or not.

I really do like the selection that is available, and it couldn't be simpler to rent - just go online, pick the movies I want, and wait for them to arrive in my mailbox. When I'm ready to return them, I place them in the included postage paid pre-addressed envelope, and put the envelope in the mail box.

On the other hand, it does cost $20 a month, and I'm not sure that we will rent enough movies - I figure five per month - to justify the expense.

It is quite unpleasant, and once it starts, it takes about a day to subside. I don't think anything actually gets stuck, I think it is a muscle spasm.

A few weeks ago, I had an esophagram, which didn't indicate anything bad other than a hiatal hernia.

This morning, I had an endoscopy.

The most painful part of the procedure was having to wake up at 5:45 AM. The actual procedure was done "out-patient." After inserting an IV, the doctor gave me some demerol, and next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room. Other than a touch of a sore throat, I'm none the worse for the experience.

The good news is that once again, the doctor didn't find anything bad. He did indicate that I had an esophageal constriction, which he dilated while he was there.

The bad news is that no one knows why I get these "attacks" every now and then, but, as long as there's nothing bad wrong down there, I can suffer through the occasional discomfort.

And I've decided that by definition, new age applies to original compositions, not new interpretations of old songs.

Just because Windham Hill tends to publish legitimate new age music, doesn't mean that by definition anything they publish is new age.

Therefore, the recording that I was listening to was in fact muzak, not new age.

Okay, I feel better...

I remember it so vividly...

Like it was just yesterday. The never ending arguments over what Dad would play on the radio...

Muzak - elevator music - dentist office music - whatever the name, it was the same... instrumentalized, homogenized, non-offensive "background music."

I hated it. It drove me crazy. It made me want to jam a screwdriver in my ears to deafen myself just so I wouldn't have to hear it.

I wanted to listen to current, popular music - be it folk, rock, progressive.

Dad would counter that "that isn't music, it's just noise."

While I do occasionally find a new artist that I like, I tend to stick with my old favorites. And even though I have broadened my musical horizons somewhat, I have not been able to embrace hip-hop, rap, grunge, post-grunge, or I-don't-even-know-what-they-call-today's-hot-musical-style.

While I work, I sometimes listen to new age type music - just to avoid what would otherwise be deafening silence...

So, today I started listening to a new Windham Hill collection...

And what should it contain, but new age'd versions of songs that were popular when I was in high school

Arg!

Oh, the horror, the horror!

I don't know how, but it tickled some (I thought) long forgotten memory from long ago.

There was this person named Richard Evans Lee who ran a BBS that I was particularly fond of - the Psychotronic BBS.

This was sometime in the 1980's I believe.

In addition to having file areas from which I downloaded boat loads of utilities, he had lots of message areas from various "networks" like FIDONET.

Richard also endowed his BBS with the ability to "page the Sysop", and he would often respond and engage in real-time chats. He seemed to be a very interesting person, and was very nice online.

For those of you too young to know of anything other than cable modems and the World Wide Web, during this period, a 9600 baud modem was considered hot, and the rage was the Z-Modem protocol.

Richard co-owned this really cool used book store around the corner from where I worked, and I would occasionally browse during lunch.

I never did get up the nerve to introduce myself, but I always thought it was kind of cool that the owner of my favorite BBS had a store right around the corner from where I worked.

Anyway, this last commenter left his URL, and after looking around, I discovered much to my delight that it was in fact the same person who used to run my favorite BBS. His blog is Richard Evans Lee's Edifying Spectacle.

Life can be so cool.

It didn't take very long at all without power to gain an appreciation of just how quickly life can get very uncomfortable without electricity.

My heart goes out to those who are still without power, and I sincerely hope that you get it back soon.

We lost power around midnight. Power was not restored until sometime Saturday (we think).

We spent a dark and cold Thursday and Thursday night at home, then headed off to Georgia for our grand-nephew's first birthday party as we had planned for many weeks. The trip also allowed us to celebrate Jeanie's mom's birthday, and to do our Christmas gift exchange with Jeanie's family.

Since it had already been 36 hours, and there was no estimate for when power would be restored, we cleaned out the fridge and freezer, threw away lots of stuff that needed throwing away, and packed the rest into three coolers for the trip.

In addition to the expected gifts, Jeanie's family also ended up with various cuts of half-frozen meat as a bonus. It was just bad timing for us (and good timing for them) that there had recently been some good sales on meat, and Jeanie had stocked up. There was no way we could eat it all before it went bad, and we didn't want it going to waste.

We spent Friday night near Augusta, Saturday with the family, Saturday night at the lake with Jim and Kim, and returned home today.

Our Friend Andy - who I believe is still without power - was really nice and came by Saturday and saw that our electricity was back on, and gave me a call on the cell to let us know we'd have a warm house to return to.

On the way home, we stopped by Harbor Freight Tools and Robby and I bought a few tools. Then we went grocery shopping in Fayetteville. Jeanie doesn't want to shop around here for a couple of weeks so we don't run the risk of getting food that was potentially thawed/got warm, and then was re-frozen/re-refrigerated.

Anyway, it is good to be back home, and to have Blogdom back on line.

I received the following in e-mail, and while I don't necessarily believe everything that I read, I am afraid that these sound all too believable.

I just don't understand how juries can find for the plaintiff in these sorts of suits, much less make the kinds of awards that they do.

What kind of morons are they seating on juries these days? Don't they realize that these frivolous suits hurt all of us?

And what does this say about the slime sucking lawyers who file these suits?

Sometimes, I just have to shake my head...

*******************************************************

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are
this year's candidates:

1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

The Christmas Guest

It happened one day near December’s end,
two neighbors called on an old-time friend,
and they found his shop so meager and mean,
made gay with a thousand boughs of green.

And Conrad was sitting with face a-shine,
when he suddenly stopped as he stitched a twine,
and he said, “Old friends, at dawn today,
when the cock was crowing the night away,
the Lord appeared in a dream to me and said, “I am coming your guest to be”.

So I’ve been busy with feet astir,
strewing my shop with branches of fir,
the table is spread and the kettle is shined,
and over the rafters the holly is twined.

Now I will wait for my Lord to appear,
and listen closely so I will hear,
His step as He nears my humble place,
and I open the door and look in His face”.

So his friends went home and left Conrad alone,
for this was the happiest day he had known.
For long since his family had passed away,
and Conrad has spent many a sad Christmas Day.

But he knew with the Lord as his guest,
this Christmas would be the dearest and best.
So he listened with only joy in his heart,
and with every sound he would rise with a start,
and look for the Lord to be standing there,
in answer to his earnest prayer.

So he ran to the window after hearing a sound,
but all that he saw on the snow-covered ground,
was a shaggy beggar whose shoes were torn,
and all his clothes were ragged and worn.

But Conrad was touched and went to the door,
and he said, “Your feet must be frozen and sore,
I have some shoes in my shop for you,
and a coat that will keep you warmer too!”

So with grateful heart the man went away,
but as Conrad noticed the time of day,
he wondered what made the dear Lord so late,
and how much longer he'd have to wait.

When he heard a knock he ran to the door,
but it was only a stranger once more.
A bent old lady with a shawl of black,
and a bundle of kindling piled on her back.

She asked for only a place to rest,
but that was reserved for Conrad’s Great Guest.
Yet her voice seemed to plead, “Don’t send me away,
let me rest for while on Christmas Day.”
So Conrad brewed her a steaming cup,
and told her to sit at the table and sup.

But after she left, he was filled with dismay,
for he saw that the hours were passing away,
and the Lord had not come as He said He would,
and Conrad felt sure he had misunderstood.

When out of the stillness he heard a cry,
“Please help me and tell me where am I”.
So again he opened his friendly door
and stood disappointed as twice before.
It was only a child who had wandered away
and was lost from her family on Christmas Day.

Again, Conrad’s heart was heavy and sad,
but he knew he should make the little girl glad.
So he called her in and wiped her tears
and quieted her childish fears.
Then he led her back to her home once more.

But as he entered his own darkened door,
he knew that the Lord was not coming today,
for the hours of Christmas had passed away.
So he went to his room and knelt down to pray,
and he said, "Dear Lord, why did you delay?
What kept You from coming to call on me,
for I wanted so much Your face to see”.

When soft in the silence a voice he heard,
“Lift up you head for I kept My word.”
“Three times My shadow crossed your floor—
Three times I came to your lonely door—
For I was the beggar with bruised, cold feet,
I was the woman you gave something to eat,
and I was the child on the homeless street.”

“Three times I knocked, three times I came in,
and each time I found the warmth of a friend”.

Of all the gifts, love is the best,
I was honored to be your Christmas Guest.

by Helen Steiner Rice