I figured it must be a neighbor's noisy air conditioner and didn't pay it much heed.

When I went into the house some time later, I noticed that the noise seemed louder in the house than it was outside. I walked around the house and it was loudest in our bathroom. I looked around, but there was nothing that was making this sort of noise in the bathroom. I then decided to walk around the house to investigate further. Upon just a bit of investigation, I discovered that the source of the noise was our septic alarm.

Now, before I go any further, I need to provide some background information...

We have what is called a "Dozed Septic System." What this means is that instead of the "normal" system which comprises a buried septic tank (usually around 1000 gallons) and a network of leach or drain pipes which fan out from the tank, our system incorporates two tanks and some additional "stuff." The primary tank is 900 gallons, and is fully buried. However, where a normal system sits totally under the prevailing ground level, we have a large "mound" that sits about three feet above the surrounding ground level. This mound is approximately 30 x 15 feet, and under the mound is a 300 gallon dozing tank and the pipes for the drain field. Effluent is pumped from the main tank to the dozing tank, where it then leaches out into the drain field.

Fortunately, I was able to find the "silence" button, so at least I was able to stop the thoroughly annoying alarm noise. Unfortunately, I didn't have a clue what the alarm was trying to warn me of. So, off I went to Google. The gist of what I was able to find seemed to indicate that the septic pump had failed, thus causing the level of water in the main tank to rise above its normal level, thus triggering the alarm. From what I could gather from my reading, within a day or two, we would end up with the septic system backing up into the house if we didn't resolve the problem.

Even though our phone book is only half an inch thick, there are over a half-dozen septic companies in the yellow pages, so I figured getting one to come diagnose / fix the issue would be no problem. In addition, we did have the name of the company - Brewer Septic - that had performed the pre-purchase septic inspection. The system had been inspected only a month ago, and the inspection report indicated that the pump had been replaced about a year ago, so I figured that calling that company would be the best option. Well, out of all of the companies we called, all but one forced us to leave a message. The one company that actually answered the phone - Acme Septic - basically told us that they would be happy to come replace the pump - period. The Acme guy basically told Jeanie that even without looking, he knew that the problem was a bad pump. That seemed strange considering my research indicated that the pump should last anywhere between three and ten years. After numerous calls, Jeanie was finally able to get a person at Brewer on the phone who told her that they would try to get someone to our house by the end of the day.

Well, no one ever showed up from Brewer, no one called. We really wanted Brewer to come, since they had done the inspection and pump replacement, and we were hoping that the pump might still be under warranty. But, we didn't want sewage backing up into our house! On Saturday, I thought that I remembered seeing the cell phone number for the owner on the inspection letter, and after checking, we found that it was indeed there. Jeanie called the number and reached the owner, who took no time informing her that he was on the beach in Georgia fishing with his sons - "it is Father's Day Weekend, you know" he told Jeanie. "Yes, I realize that, and we'd like to be able to spend the weekend with my father too, but we have this septic tank alarm that keeps going off and no one ever showed up from your company."

Oh, did I forget to mention that the silence button apparently only works for a while, and that the alarm had starting wailing a number of times after I initially hit the silence button, the last time being at 4:00 AM the night before?

Well, long story short, the owner said he'd see what he could do, and he called back within thirty minutes to let us know he had someone on the way.

Within another thirty minutes or so, Johnny and a helper drove up in their truck. After removing the large, heaving cement tank cover, Johnny diagnosed that the problem wasn't the pump, but simply that the alarm sensor (which looks like a coffee can covered in black rubber, with an electrical cord coming out of one end) had "come lose" and was floating in the effluent, thus causing the alarm. Johnny pulled the sensor out of the water by pulling on the cord and secured the cord to some plastic piping with three plastic wire ties, suspending the sensor above the water but below the inlet pipe. Problem solved.

Strangely, none of the pages I found on the web from my searches offered any other possible cause for the alarm going off other than a failed pump. Lucky for us, it appears that there is a simpler and cheaper alternative explanation.

So, off I went to trusty Google, where I found a number of speculations / explanations, the most satisfying to me of which I found at this URL: http://listserv.dom.edu/cgi-bin/wa.exe?A2=ind0404&L=stumpers-l&H=1&O=D&P=79741 and which I shamelessly reproduce here:

>Dear List, I recently heard someone say, "It's a pity his wife was such a wild hair/hare". Is the metaphor intended "wild hair" or "wild hare"? Is
it a regionalism? What does it mean? I'm sure the collective wisdom of the wombats will have a satisfactory answer! Dorothy

Hi Dorothy,

There are two expressions, wild hare and wild hair. The first refers to or compares someone or something to the natural skittishness of breeding
hares in spring, especially in March (ergo Lewis Carroll's inclusion of that creature in the Mad Hatter's tea party). To have a wild hair (up
one's butt) is a vulgar expression indicating an obsession or fixation of some sort. "Wild" in the first instance denotes erratic behavior like
that of hares in rut. In the second instance "wild" characterizes a stray or unruly strand whose indelicate lodgment is the figurative cause of someone's perceived mania.

John Dyson

I was working with our main file, and had just set up the online banking information for a new account when Quicken threw up an error message and closed. No biggie I thought, this stuff happens... I'll just restart Quicken. Imagine my surprise when I double clicked the Quicken icon, Quicken started, and then, without any message, disappeared. Yep, that's right. I got the initial Quicken splash, saw the menu bar, heard the startup sound, saw the "loading" message for the data file, and then... nothing. No menu, nothing... just like I hadn't ever started the program.

Well, after a fair amount of hunting on Intuit's Quicken site, and Googling, I found that if I held the control key down while Quicken was loading, it would inhibit it from trying to load the last open file. When I did this, Quicken loaded. I was able to open an unrelated existing file. I was able to create a new file and then close/open it. But every time I tried to load our main file, same result.

So, I did more hunting and Googling. The leading explanation for the strange behavior was a corrupt data file. That seemed to be a reasonable assumption. I did have eight years of data in the file, and had been through many versions of the program including one beta cycle.

The resolution seemed simple enough... run the validate option form the File, File Operations menu. So, validate I did, and guess what? Validate found and fixed an error. Okay, I thought, now we are in business. No, not even close. Same result. Maybe I have to run the validate a few times I thought - until it comes back "clean." So, run it again I did, and once more, just for grins. Try again, same result.

Okay, more searching. Aha! If validate doesn't work, try "super validate." And how, gentle reader, you ask does one run super validate? Probably, you are thinking, select the Super Validate option from the menu? Oh, silly reader. Would Intuit make anything so straight forward? No way! To run "super validate" one must hold down the control and shift keys, before and during the selection of the validate option, and keep them held until the process completes. Okay, now, we should be in business, yes? NO!

Multiple runs of super validate yielded the same results.

Okay, the file is hopelessly corrupt I thought, fortunately, I have reasonably good backup habits with Quicken, and had just made a backup the day prior. I even knew exactly what I had done since the last backup. No biggie, right? Wrong! Restoring the backup and trying to load it yielded the same results. If fact, all FOUR backups yielded the same results!

Strange, huh?

Okay, more digging.

One source suggested copying the file to a new directory. No luck. Another source suggested ensuring the archive bits were set on for all of the data files. No luck. Another source suggested uninstalling and reinstalling Quicken. Guess what? No luck!

Maybe, I thought, something has gotten hosed in Quicken related to the name of the data file... So, I tried renaming all of the related data files. No luck.

Back to Quicken's support site... It suggested that if all else failed, I could try using the copy feature in Quicken, or as a last resort, the export feature. Guess what? In order to use those features, you must be able to open the file!

Then, I had an inspiration.

I had seen many times before where a program's uninstall wasn't thorough. The uninstaller, even though it said it was complete and gave no indication of having left detritus, didn't in fact remove all traces of the program. So, I did a search on my hard drive for any files whose name contained quicken. Yep, quite a few directories and files. For good measure, I also seached for Intuit. Yep, some of those too. Then, being the compulsive type that I am, I opened regedit, and did a registry find on quicken and intuit and deleted all of the registry keys I found. I then rebooted for the umpteenth time and reinstalled Quicken.

And....

It worked!

I have no explanation for this bizzare behavior, but I am really happy that I was able to recover my data file. Which, by the way, I promptly pared down to the last four year's data using Quicken copy, and validated just for good measure.

Postscript: just a reminder that prior to editing the registry, you should set a system restore point or backup the registry... just in case...